Of Ninjas and Elevators
by jellyghost
Summary: Team 7 come across an elevator, thinking it would be better to have a ride than take the stairs. Unbeknownst to them and Kakashi's headache they are mistaken. First in the series.
1. Datte? Elevator?

**A/N: **Hello there! Welcome to the first part of my new series Of Ninjas and New Contraptions! A series dedicated to find out what would really happen if ninjas had cool things like cars or elevators...

Note: I'm pretty sure that they don't have elevators in the Narutoverse. So correct me if I'm wrong. Reviews and criticism greatly needed. Un-betad.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or any other characters. Blah Blah Blah. Not made this for money. Blah Blah. Besides, I owned Naruto, there would be more than just one new episodea week!!

**Summary:** Upon finding an elevator, Team 7 decide to use it after been worn out after a mission. Turns out things aren't going to go easy on them. Much to the annoyance of Kakashi and his headache.

* * *

As a kid I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut.  
The latter was never much of a possibility,  
As I don't even like riding in elevators.

-Bill Walters

* * *

_Hey? Whats this? Looks like a box. Does it work? I hear it can take you anywhere... as long as its up or down. _

_Oi. Just press the button. _

_Hm? _

_The button baka, the button on the side. _

_Oh does it turn it on? _

_Its an elevator, you get in press a button and it takes you to your floor. _

_Oh. SO much more easier than stairs then..._

* * *

Naruto stood there lazily, and continuously tapping the call button for the lift, much to the annoyance of his fellow teammates.

"Datte"

Tap.

"Dattebayo"

Tap.

Sigh. "Datte…"

A loud thud echoed the halls where Team 7 stood, followed by a yelp of pain and a small, and an almost inaudible tut from the darkest member of the team.

"Sakura-Chan..." A devious yet satisfied smile swept across the female's face.

'_Ping.'_

Soothing was the sound of the elevator doors sliding open, to the four tired (and relatively sore, on Naruto's behalf), members of Team 7, stepped in after a hard day of missions. Kakashi sauntered in, book in hand, and leaned against the back of the lift, mentally reviewing today's mission. Admittedly, some of his little party had worked harder than others, but nevertheless, he was sure Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were all happy to be on their ways back to their camp. There was no doubt in his mind that by now, after being the type of day it was they were chakra spent and the end of it definitely brought a sense of relief to the threesome. (Even with the exception of Naruto, flailing his fists in the air, claiming he could do more as he swayed precariously on spot).

Said ninja hobbled in last, hitting the ground floor button with his head with a groan, sliding to the floor, head in hands.

"Can you believe how many of those henchmen creeps I pummeled?" The blonde mused, resting his elbows on his knees. His previous pain suddenly forgotten, "If I wasn't near Hokage then, I certainly am now."

Sasuke quipped an elegant eyebrow from behind his bangs.

"Unlikely,"

"Shut up Teme", Naruto countered, waving his fist up at Sasuke, in some sort of threat. "Just because you have no talent and didn't get as many as I did".

Kakashi snapped his book shut and sighed lightly, drawing the attention of the two fighting ninjas. He fixed Naruto with a frustrated glare.

"Is that all you managed to participate in today?" he asked.

Naruto gave an indignant cry. "Eh! Noes!" Kakashi noted his hesitation.

"I did, datte, do something else… I err… well… dedicated a good portion of the mission trying to find out something about…" Naruto's face crumpled in thought, "Heh. Did you know if you hit the big guys hard enough right here", Naruto indicated between his legs, "that they go down like a rock!"

"That happens to any man Naruto. Now what about the scouting task I sent you on? Did you get any result from that?" Kakashi queried, clearly getting tetchy. "Or did your utter _astonishment_ with experimenting with a male's anatomy stop you from completing your assigned task?" It had been a long day. A very long day.

Naruto blinked.

Once.

Twice.

"What…"

Kakashi was far from being in the mood to deal with Naruto's remarkable dumbness. _"But"_, he told himself, _"Don't break down… just yet"._

"Sensei?"

Kakashi looked up from his fixed gaze on the blonde to see Sakura standing there, nervously, fumbling about in her grey shoulder bag. "I managed to get _something_ from _my_ scouting", she threw a quick scowl over her shoulder at Naruto.

She handed over a few scrap pieces of note paper with hasty writing on it. "I'm sorry it's messy, but I needed to get things down".

Kakashi just waved her off, eyes fixed on the quick report. "Well done, Sakura" he commented.

Sakura tittered, clasping her hands in front of her shyly. Flushing a bright pink when Sasuke looked over seemingly impressed.

"_YES! He noticed. Hell yeah!"_

"It's good." Kakashi insisted, his eye curling up into a smile. "I'm impressed. At least someone managed to do what they were asked."

Sakura simply stuck her tongue out with a smile.

"Here we go datte" Naruto muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"It's a sad day," commented Kakashi, hand on hip, "When a Hokage wannabe can't do what's asked of him"

Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in a childish fashion, head turned away in Sasuke's direction. Upon seeing his nonchalant teammate, Naruto attempted to shift the conversion away from him.

"He hasn't done anything, either."

Sasuke looked up with a scoff, "I have."

Naruto sneered, "Yeah, right. I saw you wandering about the town with a _girl_". Naruto grinned Cheshire-like, his grin growing to in-human proportions at his suggestion.

"Hn. I had to do it baka," Sasuke shot back, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Shut up," he added, as Naruto snorted. Only Naruto could rile him up.

Kakashi closed his eyes in frustration, breathing out a small sigh. "Now, now, its only day four of our week's mission, we shouldn't be fighting.

"_It's late and I have a splitting headache, I'm really not in the mood to deal with these two and their constant fighting"_ He added to himself.

Sakura looked between her two teammates and sensei.

"Look guys, sensei is right" she blurted out suddenly. "I know this mission seems to drag on forever, but we need to stick together. We just need to put more effort in, _some more than others_". She shot a meaning look at Naruto.

Kakashi smiled to himself. "Quite right Sakura, it's true that we-"

"_Someone_ is dragging our team down! And _he_ needs to change his attitude." Sakura continued her nag, completely blotting out Kakashi's voice.

"I didn't know you were a man-"

This had come out a little louder than Naruto had anticipated.

Sasuke cleared his throat and turned away, trying to hide that he was laughing. Heaven forbid if everyone found out he had a sense of humour.

"What?!" Sakura cried, striding towards Naruto

Suddenly, the elevator juddered. Sakura temporarily forgot about Naruto, as she tried to find her footing. She and Sasuke immediately looked at Naruto as he tried to stand, using his hand on the wall as support.

"Datte… it wasn't me! It's not always-"

Another violent jolt, vibrated through the lift sent them all groping for support –Naruto falling backwards and rolling into Sasuke's legs.

A grinding screech sounded from somewhere above them, and the lights dimmed out, with a hum.

"What the…"

Sakura spun in circles before latching onto the closest thing she could find. "Oh no, oh no. That's not supposed to happen right? Damn new machinery! It can never be trusted!"

"Sh! There must be an open door button right?"

"Easier said than done, datte, we're not all nocturnal thingies with super duper eye sight"

"Teme, you're closest, you do it,"

"Gah. Who's on my arm…"

"Nopes not me, I got the _lovely_ position near your feet".

Sasuke fumbled around in the dark, feeling about in front of him, "Sakura?"

Sakura was in heaven, she was latched onto the guy of her dreams and here he was touching her with those strong-

A quick shake brought her out of her daydream

"Ah! S..Sorry Sasuke-kun. I…I…I thought that it wasn't you!"

"Sure…"

"OI!"

"Kids? Can we please calm down!"

A collective "yes…sorry" came from two different voices, followed by a somewhat disgusted "Hn."

All four took the brief moment of silent to take a deep breath (Sakura fading back into her daydream, still latched onto Sasuke) and to compose.

The deep thrum of creaking metal and gears started to break the ninjas from their composure and with a final 'clunk', the elevator dropped suddenly causing a few of the party of shriek and suddenly all went still.

The air felt thick, and a nerving silence settled around them just as the lights flickered back on again. If anyone was watching on the outside, they would say that the scene was somewhat different to when they had first started off. Sasuke was busy trying to peel Sakura off him, his usual haughty demeanor disappeared. Naruto was busy clambering up from his sprawled position at Sasuke's feet, rolling his shoulders to loose some tension, kicking off a chair from his legs, which _had_ been in the corner of the elevator to being with.

Kakashi was busy retrieving his book from where it had fallen out of his hands onto the floor. Dusting it off carefully, giving it a quick pat, before replacing it in his weapon's pouch.

Naruto stood looking at the doors, head cocked to the side, waiting for the doors to open.

Nothing happened.

He shuffled to the lift panel, carefully avoiding his other two teammates and pressed the ground floor button. "Datte".

Nothing.

He tried the ground floor button once again. "Eh. Datte?"

Still nothing happened.

Kakashi gave a weary sigh, bringing Sasuke and Sakura out of their feud.

Sakura looked around before noticing what was happening. Hands clamping around her ears. "Don't say it. Don't say we're-"

"Stuck, dattebayo"

Sasuke let out a growl slamming his fist into the open door button.

Once again, the lift didn't budge. Kakashi let out a chuckle. "We are definitely-"

"Screwed datte! Absolutely screwed! No ramen, no air, no… no… RAMEN!"

Sakura let out a scream. "There's no toilet!"


	2. Claustrophibia?

Hello again. Heh. Sorry about the long haul and wait. I'm not the one for excuses, so you're just going to have to guess why I took so long.

Was it because she was lazy? Maybe. Or because a chapter in her life changed? Also maybe.

Anyway I hope the next chapter was worth the wait ^^. Just let me know what you think with the review button. Oh how I dearly love that thing. It's like adrenaline, and I'm an adrenaline junkie. So feed meeee.

Disclaimer: Hit the back button to see it. But if I did own Naruto, the anime would suck! There would be little stick people running about, with big pointy hair.

* * *

**Previously: **

_"Stuck, dattebayo"_

_Sasuke let out a growl slamming his fist into the open door button._

_Once again, the lift didn't budge. Kakashi let out a chuckle. "We are definitely-" _

_"Screwed datte! Absolutely screwed! No ramen, no air, no… no… RAMEN!"_

_Sakura let out a scream. "There's no toilet!"_

* * *

"We can't be stuck!" Sakura groaned, fingers lacing through her hair. "Th…This is just a very, very bad dream". Slowly the bubblegum-haired kunoichi, backed up into the corner, looking similar to a frightened deer. Or a mad-man… whichever way you looked at it.

Naruto took to staring at the doors, before giving it a firm kick. "We're stuck alright." He let out a small howl of defeat. "No Ramen for me tonight… and I had brought that new beef one with the improved gravy" (1). A sliver of drool escaped the corner of his mouth as he went on daydreaming.

Kakashi groaned inwardly and brought up his book again, smoothing out the pages that had gotten creased, all the while trying not to slam his head against the elevator walls in defeat. _"But… if I hit my head hard enough…"_ Once again Sakura's shrieking echoed through the elevator.

"This is not happening". Sakura had started to stare wildly around the elevator. "This is not happening…" Sasuke threw her a slightly bemused look, leaning off from the wall.

"What's the matter with you?"

"I'm claustrophobic", gasped Sakura. Her hands slowly left her head, her eyes were still wide, but she seemed to be calming down now she had someone to talk to. "I got trapped in a closet when I was little and ever since then I have been scared about little places and not being able to get out". Sakura started to worry again, and shivered at the memories, huddling more into the corner, wrapping her arms around her body.

"Tch. It's not that small Sakura", Sasuke noted after rolling his eyes at her absurdity, taking up his position once again leaning on the wall.

Naruto perked up, absently wiping off his drool with the back of his hand. He turned to look at Sakura, then to Sasuke and back to Sakura again. "Come on Sakura-Chan! He's right _for once,_ it's not _that small_. I mean it's not like you should be worried about small places this time. You've got the worry about the lack of oxygen. And…" He took one look at the bright red 30 gleaming at them. "And… if suffocation doesn't get ya, I'm _pretty_ sure a fall from this sheer height will". He jerked his thumb at the floor display. Okay, he wasn't the brightest of ninjas, but he was sure that the bright red 30 meant 'Floor 30'… not that the elevator had been used 30 times. _"Besides… who want to use this thing _that_ many times?"_

Sakura's eyes – if possible – widened even further, her mouth hung open, until she finally succumbed to hyperventilation. Obviously, consolation was not one of Naruto's finest points.

"Well done, Dobe" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. He was angry yes, but Naruto's point oxygen deprivation wasn't exactly a lie, he was guessing. After looking around and at the four walls, he couldn't find anything that even _looked_ like an entry for fresh air. Was the Uchiha panicking?

"We're all going to be dead within the hour!" Both males turned their attention to Sakura, looking seemingly worried themselves. A small noise came from the direction of their forth party member.

"What you say Kaka-sensei?"

"Don't tell me you're scared too," Sasuke asked his sensei, dryly.

"Of course not. Someone's got to act like a ninja if none of you are going to."

Naruto pushed his way past Sasuke and into Kakashi direct line of vision. "You didn't answer my question! What did you just say?"

Kakashi didn't know whether to be stunned by Naruto's good hearing skills, or his student's choice of offending coloured clothes. Slightly unnerved by the close encounter situation, Kakashi took one step back, buried his head into his book. "I said…going to be wondering where I am…" It was vague, but it was there.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other and grinned. Well, it was more like a smirk from Sasuke. People already knew he had a slight sense of humour; he'd eat his own eyeballs before he showed others that he actually _grins_.

"Oh? Who you meeting, dattebayo?" Naruto clapped his hands together in evident glee. "Oh! Oh! Is it a girl, datte? I mean you are getting on in years-"

"No, Naruto". _"Why, why does this happen to me? Why couldn't I just have had another team? What not Team 10? I'd be broke _(2),_ but I wouldn't be brought to the brink of madness!"_

Sheer realization broke through Sasuke's stoic mask. "Kakashi, I didn't know you were like Gai". A visible twitch came from Kakashi's uncovered eye. "What do you mean Sasuke?"

"Well… I didn't know you bat for the other team is all I'm saying". A small, but poorly concealed chuckle came from the blonde.

"Wha-" A pure rush of rage and disappoint erupted through his body. He turned to face his dark-haired student, slammed his book shut, bent down a peered into his inky eyes. He moved in further, and whispered something in his ear.

Like a river, a red blush swept of Sasuke's face.

Now even more intrigued, Naruto tried to get more involved in the conversation. "Ne. Ne. What did you say to him datte?" Naruto looked over at his friend/rival, noticing Sasuke's all but triumphant smirk had left his face. Kakashi remained silent.

"What did you say? Oi! Don't turn away from me Sensei. What did you say? Who are you meeting? Hey! Listen to me. Don't read that damn perverted book of-"

"Shut. Up." Kakashi's glare halted Naruto's torrent of questions. With a gulp, the blonde backed off and sat on the floor near the elevator doors.

"Someone's bound to come," Sakura gulped, her voice breaking the tension. "Someone is bound to notice we are missing!" She was now pacing back and forth in what little space there was. She gave a chuckle before continuing "If we just stay calm, and wait for a while, someone will notice that the lift isn't working. I mean, people use this thing all the time right? Right?"

Kakashi morbidly raised his head "Its late, Sakura. No-one is here anymore" With that, Sakura whimpered.

"Everyone has gone home."

Sakura groaned. "Well, there has to be someone patrolling this god forsaken place! There has to be some sort of alarm button or call for help for this sort of situation!"

Naruto swiveled around to face the panel. "That one is flashing red?"

Sasuke looked over "It does say 'alarm'".

"Why are you still standing there then?" Sakura stormed over and pressed it. Instantly a red glow illuminated the elevator. Sakura sighed in relief, but that soon turned to disappointment when nothing else happened.

"It's broken!"

As if on cue, a deafening, repetitive shriek hummed through the elevator, and the glow started to flash. All four ninjas clapped their hands over their ears cringing at the intensity of it all.

"Is it supposed to do this?"

"How the hell should we know? Good going Sakura"

"Don't blame me! At least something is happening!" cried Sakura over the top of it. "Everyone must hear this thing! They'll be pulling the doors open in no time!"

"_My headache is worsening. I am getting more stressed. But I am calm. Happy place, with lots and lots of porn. No-one to teach. Just porn". _Kakashi's hands went up to massage his temples.

"They'd better hurry it up, then," Sasuke mumbled.

--

It soon became apparent that no-one had noticed the alarm. No-one was coming. It had been 10 minutes. The piercing sound and the flashing was either going to deafen them or give them epileptic fits.

"Do you think anyone's coming?" Naruto shouted

"What?" Sasuke yelled back, shaking his head

"I said, do you _think_ anyone is _coming_?"

"How should I know!"

"What?"

"I said HOW SHOULD I KNOW!"

Kakashi noted that it wasn't just his frustration and temper that was building and rising.

"This thing is stupid!" cried Sakura, pointing up to the lights. "We're gonna be stuck here forever!"

"Alright, that's it, I've had enough!" Sasuke stormed over to the control panel glaring at it. There had to be some way it would stop!

"No! Sasuke-Kun, you stop it no-one knows we're in here!" She latched onto his shoulders trying to pull him away.

Sasuke merely shrugged her off, pivoted on the spot and slammed it foot into the panel. Sasuke looked around a bit, ignoring all the bemused stares he was getting and closed his eyes and sighed heavily when the flashing and the noise subsided. He was happy with himself. _"They say violence never solves anything"._

Naruto peeped an eye open and smiled, "Thank Ramen for that!"

Sasuke scoffed at him "Dobe"

"What?"

Sasuke glared at the blonde. "Move your hands away from your ears, idiot", demonstrating as he said it.

Naruto chuckled nervously as he removed his hands that were still positioned on the side of his head. "Heh-"

Sakura gaped at the broken panel. She grimaced at the evident indent that Sasuke's foot had left, the few missing buttons, the way it sparked every now and then. Now, now they were screwed.

Kakashi feel to his knees. Hard.

"Sensei?"

"Remember when in said at the very beginning that I hate you?" He guessed that they had nodded in reply. "Well, I still hate you".

A small sound of surprise and hurt left his students' mouths. And he didn't care, in fact Kakashi felt great. Apart from his head. No that didn't feel great at all. And just as quickly as it had came, his joy left him.

Sakura slumped to the floor, defeated.

"What happens now?"

"Well, either way it's not a happy end. Starve or suffocate. Take your pick".

"_Why_ must you be so negative, teme!"

"I'm only being realistic," Sasuke shot back. A red blinking caught the corner of his eye, just above the control panel. "What is that?"

Naruto stared at the contraption Sasuke was talking about. When he moved, it followed. Overwhelmed by such a thing he kept moving from side to side, making Sakura dizzy after a while.

Jumping up Sakura decided to check it out. "Guys! Guys! This is a camera". Two looks of confusion were shot her way.

"You know camera! People can see you from the other side". Sheer happiness became Sakura's new mood. Jumping up and down on the spot and waving frantically at the camera. "HELP! HELLO! We're stuck!"

"Can they even hear us, dattebayo?" With that Sakura's mood deflated.

"I don't think so…"

Then an idea hit him. The blonde grabbed a piece of Sakura's forgotten, scattered report, bit his thumb so it bled slightly and scribbled 'help' onto the back of it. He then held it in front of the camera.

"No!" Sakura squealed in defiance. "Firstly that's mine not yours! And secondly that is gross; you might have some sort of disease!"

"I am not diseased!" He turned the report around, glancing at it."Peh. Piece of crap anyway dattebayo".

**WHACK**

Even Sasuke cringed at the solid cuff Sakura gave Naruto.

"Of all people! I had to be stuck with you".

Naruto simply ignored her, nursing his bloody nose. "Geez. If I don't die of oxygen loss, or a death fall… it'll be blood loss for sure".

Sakura screamed in frustration.

"Does that thing even work?" Both young ninjas stared at Sasuke. "I mean look, none of us are moving but that thing still is". To prove his point the camera was swiveling side to side like one of the stupid desk stress metronome stress relivers.

Sakura walked over, inspecting it. Realization passed over her face, and she turned with death glare, right in Sasuke's direction.

"What?"

"You… This is your fault. You broke it". She steadily made her way towards the dark haired teen.

"How?" And steadily he made his way back.

Sakura let out a small laugh. "You know when you kicked the panel, in hope that you could shut the sound off?"

"Yes-" His back hit the wall of the elevator. Sakura was scary, and he was feeling slightly vulnerable.

"Well guess what? Funny this… YOU CRUSHED THE WIRE THAT WAS HOOKED TO THAT CAMERA!" Sakura drew her fist back, ready to strike her trapped victim, but fell onto her rump before the hit connected. As the depression sunk in at another failed attempt, her anger had melted away into anguish. Kakashi fell forward his forehead hitting the floor.

The only one grinning in fact was Naruto.

"What's so funny Dobe?"

"You got something wrong Teme. You messed up!"

"Well you're the one who wanted to take the damn elevator!"

Sakura soon gave her two cents "Well I didn't hear you complaining or suggesting we took the stairs!"

"Don't blame this on me; we could have got the earlier elevator, had you not been slacking behind Sakura!"

At that three furious and weary teens broke into a heated argument.

"I get the impression," Kakashi started, stroking his book with his left hand, "That me and you", he lifted his head from the floor and sat upright "are the only sane things in this hell hole of an elevator". He shook his head as his students landed into a dog pile.

"AH! More blood!"

* * *

Well there you go, Chapter 2!

Oh footnotes...

(1): I am no expert on ramen. Hell if you are get in contact with me. But I am pretty sure Naruto can't eat pork ramen all the time. I know he does live a sad, lonely life, but it can't be that bad. Anyway, I like beef and beef goes good with gravy. So there's my reasoning for that.

(2): Remember poor Asuma (Spoiler sorry if you haven't got as far as that), well he brought tonnes and tonnes of food for chouji, and few bits and bobs of food for his other students, so I'm guessing should Kakashi want to take over their team, then he would have to pay for the bountyfuls of food, thus having to be broke. Ah.. it is all knowledge and logic.

Aside my criticism and sarcasm, I would like to thank all my reviwers and favouriters out there! I would hug you, but I don't think our relationship is that deep, yet. So have a cyber cookie ^^ Thankyou! Thankyou!

Oh? Review again?

~JG


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